Was it the bear...or me?

This isn't related to stitching (except for the burning AidaUglies) but I mentioned in the prior post about burning papers and such, which I did this morning.  No hair involvement, which is good.  I knew I was not complying with the township burning hours, but we're on a dead end street with little traffic.  This morning was different.  There was a horrific fire that destroyed a home and business at 5 am, and firefighters (my nephews) and policeman were all over the area.  I didn't know of this, even though it was fairly close to my street.   I have a lid on my barrel and always take a bucket of water with me because even though I love to see those flames, I am extremely aware of the damage they can cause.  Because of the yard swamp, I had my red boots on, and there I stood at the fire when a police car came down.  Uh-oh.  I wondered how big the fine would be.  Maybe because it was drizzling and I had my water bucket he would let me go?  Or maybe the red boots would trigger a flashback he would rather forget....

A few years back when Mom had a visitor, I took the opportunity to work outside in the area behind my shed overgrown with brush and hanging limbs.  We have lots of briers, wild multiflora rose, and poison ivy so even though it was very hot and humid, I had on my red knee high boots, paint stained capris and tee, a huge torn nylon jacket with the lining showing through, big work gloves, and safety glasses.  Hey - I needed protection.  I cleared the brush and the bushes, sweating buckets, then took my bow saw and started cutting limbs.  Looking up as I sawed, the fine sawdust fell onto my sweaty face. One limb scratched my cheek pretty deep. I was out there for over 2 hours and then I heard "Yo!"   Startled, I popped out from behind the shed and there was a policeman standing in my back yard.  He was startled too and took a step back.  He was going house to house to warn of a bear that crossed the highway and went into the woods behind my house.  He still looked startled, I thanked him, and decided to get back in the house.  I proceeded to the bathroom where the full length mirror told me it wasn't the bear that put that look on his face.  What popped out at him was a 5'10" woman on a 92 degree day, soaking wet, with red boots, a torn jacket, red paint (or blood!) on a t-shirt, dried blood on her cheek, two huge black eyes from mascara and liner melted behind tight safety glasses, an indescribable facial skin texture caused from an even coating of sawdust stuck to sweat, a wild head of curly hair that had little twigs and sticks extending in all directions, holding a bow saw and a hatchet.  I'll bet he thought he needed to warn the bear about me - he figured I could take 'em.  Can you imagine seeing a lady looking like this holding a saw behind a shed in the woods?  That image may be why his car kept going and I didn't get fined.